


in a week

by serasvictorian (Lucyndareads)



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 18:30:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15467421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucyndareads/pseuds/serasvictorian
Summary: “Tell me about the King,” she said.His body stiffened; he couldn’t help it. “I already have,” he said weakly.“Yes, you have,” Integra agreed, her tone impatient. “You told me he was, and I quote, ‘the most powerful man in the world, handsome and great and generous to those he blessed’. I knew even then you were hiding something, but I didn’t like you enough to push. Now we are in love, and I want the truth from you. I will say it again: tell me about the King.”





	in a week

**Author's Note:**

> here it is, the dark shrek au we've all been waiting for!
> 
> (jokes aside, this is pretty sad. take care of yourselves!)
> 
> (edit: name changed)

As missions for the King went, a long escort assignment was undoubtedly one of Alucard’s favorites. 

Not because he particularly enjoyed shepherding a hapless Princess through the wilds of Wallachia, but because it meant he would spend as much time away from the King and Court as he had ever been able to, and it was sanctioned by the King himself.

Princess Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing’s kingdom was not vast; it was a very minor territory in the country bordering Wallachia. The King had occasionally toyed with seizing it, but had never worked up the energy. 

It was obvious that this small neighboring kingdom was not a fan of Wallachia—and Alucard could hardly blame him—but when the King offered a trade of overwhelming financial and military support in exchange for the hand of the eldest Princess, her father would have to have been a raving fool to turn the offer down. 

The portrait of the Princess sent over to Wallachia was not overwhelmingly impressive. She looked lovely, yes, but not unique or special. Like all the other beauties of her day, she had intricate braids of hair pulled back—hers specifically were blonde—and delicate features. Her pale skin was rosy and flawless, and the corners of her lips were turned up in a sweet, bland smile.

Still, Alucard knew that was the way the King preferred his women. Sweet and innocent, like porcelain dolls. Easier to break. 

He wasn’t sure how long the King planned to keep this new wife—his fourth—intact. The first one had lasted the longest, about ten years. The second one had lasted five. The third one, the most recent, had only lasted three. 

Of course he felt sorry for this Princess Integra, but he had no choice but to obey. Orders were orders, and he had bottled up all empathy for the King’s victims long ago, in an effort to stave off the madness and depression.

 

* * *

 

As he appraised the Princess in front of him, Alucard was struck with the realization that the portrait’s artist was not a particularly honest man.

He could see why there was need to embellish; Princess Integra’s physical appearance did not ascribe to the style of her time. It didn’t bother him at all; in fact, to him she looked fair more appealing, but it would undoubtedly make it more difficult for her father to have married her off. 

Her blonde elaborate braids were still present, and her eyes were indeed clear blue—in fact, their colour was even more vibrate than the portrait had suggested. But that was about where the resemblance ended.

Instead of the delicate nose, the Princess sported a wider, more prominent model, and her lips were thinner. Her skin was not rosy or fair; it was a warm dark shade, too dark for a mere tan. And her figure was not anywhere near as full; she was on the thinner side with not much chest to speak of. 

And most notably, gone was the simpering smile on her face. In fact, it didn’t appear as if she had ever smiled in her life. She looked at him with coldness and tenacity. “Well?”

Realizing he had been staring at her for far too long, Alucard grunted and dropped into a kneeling position, bowing his head with a hand on his chest. “Good day to you, fair Princess. I am Alucard, a servant of the King and your escort back to Wallachia’s capitol.” 

“I am _not_ fair,” the Princess immediately replied, a bite in her voice. “Do not pander to me.” A pause, and Alucard’s body prickled as she looked him up and down. “You do not seem like a suitable escort through the wilds. You’re lanky and sickly looking, and your hair is greasy.” 

Her words barely stung; Alucard had heard much worse from his fellow Wallachians in Court. He smiled up at her, unable to suppress a smirk and an impertinent reply. “I do not need clean hair to guide you through the wilds, my lady.” 

Her eyes widened, and her cheeks darkened in a faint blush. “Well. Perhaps not, but it _is_ a testament to your unsightly character.”

Alucard was still unfazed, but inwardly he groaned. Equally as irritating as a simpering companion was one who would insult and argue with him at every turn. This would be a very long trip.

At least his dislike for the Princess would prevent him from feeling too guilty about leading her into Hell.

 

* * *

 

The King was an old man, his face lined with sadness as he bid his eldest daughter goodbye. The Princess in turn also seemed quite sad, although she firmly promised her father that she would write constantly and visit him after a year of ruling Wallachia.

Alucard did not listen too closely to their goodbye, as it made his heart squeeze unpleasantly from guilt. 

Finally, the Princess declared they would leave. Her things were packed, but she wasn’t bringing too much—there would be plenty of new clothes and jewels in Wallachia. She had with her a couple of books, a single jewelry box, two or three dresses, some undergarments, and a few other accouterments; nothing that the two horses that the castle sent with her couldn’t handle. Her servants provided plenty of dry meats and fruits and bread for the trip, which was a relief as Alucard had been on his last few days of rations.

“How long is the journey?” she asked him as she watched him load and saddle up the horses—four in total, as he had traveled to the castle with two himself.

“About a month’s time, give or take,” he replied without looking up from his work. “It highly depends on the weather, on the horses, and on the encounters one might have in the wilds.” After a second, he added, “And on the travelers themselves.”

“Well,” she said, and he could tell from her tone of voice that she was dismayed at the thought of a month’s journey, “I am a very competent traveler. I am sure we can make it in less time than that.” 

Finally, he turned to grin at her. “Let’s pray for that, my lady.” 

Her eyes widened again, before narrowing. “You are an incredibly impertinent man. The King must be very forgiving, to put up with someone like you.”

Alucard laughed at her words; he couldn’t help it. “Forgiving! Yes, I owe my life to the King’s forgiveness.” It wasn’t technically a lie, though it made him sick to his stomach.

“Well, how lovely,” she snapped. As soon as he saddled her horse, she mounted it, looking at him expectantly. “Let’s go, then. I look forward to being with the King, as opposed to being with you.” 

 

* * *

 

Three days in, and the trip was going even worse than Alucard had expected. Princess Integra fought with him at every turn. She disagreed with him about where to make camp, how to divide rations, what wild plants were safe to eat. She bade him to face the other way when they slept. 

It had gotten to the point where he almost couldn’t wait to return to the Court, even though it meant returning to the King. 

Then again, maybe she would join forces with the King to torment him together. That wasn’t a cheery thought. 

A little past noon on the third day, the Princess declared that they would stop for lunch and a short rest. Alucard could have gone further, but he knew better than to argue; while she pulled out some dried fruit, he began lighting a fire to fry the eggs he had found that morning—the bird he had killed along with them would be their dinner that night.

They ignored each other usually, and the beginning of this quiet lunch was no exception. Suddenly, however, Alucard felt a prickle at the back of his neck. Without knowing why, he looked up and his blood froze. “Wait, my lady!”  
  
She paused, looking up from the wine-colored berries she was about to pop into her mouth. “What?” she said, looking annoyed.  


“Don’t eat those,” Alucard said breathlessly, praying she would listen. “They’re Deathbursts. Sweet and juicy, and they’ll kill you in minutes. They’ll stop your heart.”

The Princess’s demeanor changed from irritated to shocked, and she quickly stuffed the berries back into the pouch she pulled them out of. “Oh.” Her tone was soft.

“Where did you find those?” Alucard demanded.

“On a bush this morning,” the Princess said softly. “Where we were camping. It was while you were fetching the birds, I wasn’t hungry then, so I saved them…” She trailed off. Her lack of appetite was the only thing that had kept her alive. It was nothing less than a miracle.

Alucard breathed through his nose. “My lady, please. I’m your escort through the wilds, because I’m very familiar with them. I’m supposed to be guiding you; _do not eat anything without consulting me first._ ” 

He expected a fight, and indeed the Princess began to draw herself up in outrage. Then she sighed. “You’re… right,” she said, nodding. “My apologies.” 

“It’s fine,” Alucard said slowly, trying not to sound surprised. “I just… you can’t die under my watch, Princess. I’ll get in trouble.” This last part added with a teasing tone.

She smiled at him humorlessly. “I know that’s the only reason you saved me, but thank you anyway.” 

Suddenly, Alucard felt dreadful. “My lady, it’s not the only reason—“

“Yes it is,” she said impatiently, rolling her eyes. “Alucard, you loathe me.” 

It was the first time she had used his name. He hadn’t even thought that she had bothered to remember it.“I don’t—“ 

“Yes you do,” she interrupted again, “And I can’t blame you. I’ve been dreadful. It’s…” she sighed. “It’s difficult, this situation.”

A pause. Alucard debated dropping the conversation for their typical silence, and then sighed. “Would… would you like to talk about it?” 

She looked at him in surprise, then shrugged. “I suppose.”

He finished frying the eggs, and served them along with dried fruit as he patiently waited to hear what she had to say. 

The Princess took a bite of egg, swallowed, and sighed. “It’s not that complicated. I’m sure you’ve guessed. I never wanted to be married, especially to a man I wouldn’t meet beforehand. And I… I miss my father.”

“Really?” Alucard said. “You seemed so ready and willing to leave.” 

She shrugged. “It’s my duty, as a Princess. I wasn’t going to whine like a child.” 

He remembered what it was like, to have royal responsibilities. Just barely, but he remembered, and he nodded in respect. Still, he had no idea what to say to comfort her. It wasn’t as if he could tell her that her life would improve when she married the King.

“Do you have… a man, back in your kingdom?” he asked after a minute. 

She shook her head, looking up at him with sorrowful eyes—once again, he was struck by how blue they were. “There’s never been anyone like that in my life.” 

 

* * *

 

After that awkward but decidedly non-confrontational conversation, they bickered much less. She took his advice, and he in turn mocked her less. Occasionally they lapsed into conversation to break the silence, and it made the next few days pass much more quickly.

“Tell me about the King,” she said, during one such conversation. It came completely out of nowhere. “I don’t know much about him, except for his brief correspondence to my father.”

He hadn’t expected that; he nearly halted the horses in his surprise. Then again, it wasn’t surprising; she was marrying a man she had never met, of course she would be curious as to the type of man he was. 

The truth rose in his throat like vomit, but Alucard managed to keep it down. “The King,” he said slowly, “Is the most powerful man in the world. He is handsome, and great, and overwhelmingly generous to those he has blessed. Under his rule, Wallachia has flourished, and is unendingly grateful for his care.” As he finished speaking, he felt overwhelmed with self-loathing. 

“I see,” said the Princess. Her tone was flat and even, unreadable. “Well, I’m glad to hear it.” She was silent after that, and Alucard was grateful for the silence. 

 

* * *

 

A week in, and he was making her laugh. 

“So then he puts down his drink, and he collapses,” he was saying. “And I collected my winnings off of his unconscious body, enough money to pay off the debt I had from borrowing and more.”

She shook her head in false dismay, the gesture ruined by her beautiful smile. “I can’t believe you! How did you know that you could out-drink him? What if you were wrong?” 

“No one can out-drink me,” Alucard said confidently, omitting the fact that he had built up a tolerance due to years of alcohol abuse. “I have an iron gut, Princess.” 

“Gross,” she said with a chuckle. “But yes, you collected your winnings. Then what?”

“Then I went three days later to meet the lender,” Alucard continued. “Imagine my surprise when out walks the man I had out-drank the night before!”

“No!” she gasped, a hand to her mouth. 

“I was stunned. And he shook my hand and said it was nice to meet me!”

“ _No way!”_ she said even louder. She gave an incredulous laugh. “And then you gave him back his own money?” 

“And then I gave him back his own money,” Alucard continued, looking smug. “He never remembered me.” 

“Dear lord,” Integra said, still smiling as she shook her head. She had a lovely smile. “I suppose—“ 

Suddenly, he held up a hand to silence her. She looked affronted, but shut her mouth just in time for them to both her the sound of crunching leaves. 

“Who goes there?” Alucard barked. He heard more than one set of footsteps. 

In less than a minute they were surrounded by a small group of what could only be bandits; it was difficult to tell, as he couldn’t circle the horse, but Alucard estimated them to number six in all. Three of them on horses, and all of them armed to the teeth with daggers, swords, and throwing knives, with nasty scars and cruel eyes. 

“Our lucky day,” said one of them with a crude smile. “Not only do we have some rich lookin’ victims, but we’ve got a pretty little package as well.” He eyed the Princess up and down. 

“Can’t wait to unwrap it,” said another one of them, and they all cackled.

Alucard squeezed the reins of the horse with tight fists. He felt himself slipping into a bout of rage, and began breathing to hold it back. Normally he would give into the feeling—with that level of anger he could easily defeat six men with only a few scratches—but he was worried that while he was killing one of them, another would take the opportunity to hurt her. 

Integra suddenly let out a little gasp, and Alucard turned to see that one of the bandits on foot had grabbed her ankle, giving it a tug. “Off the horse, little miss,” he said, his tone falsely sweet. “I need to examine the cargo.” 

Before Alucard could say anything, she nodded. “Fine.” There was a pause as she gracefully dismounted, and then suddenly things began happening very fast. 

The Princess whirled around and disarmed the bandit of his sword, promptly stabbing him in the chest with it. “I presume you know how to fight!” she barked towards Alucard, before pulling out one of the dying bandit’s daggers.

Alucard watched in amazement as she ran at one of the other bandits, using their dying comrade as a shield to engage in combat with another. When he saw them begin to approach her, he snapped back into action and pulled out one of his own throwing daggers, killing one of the bandits on horseback before leaping off his own horse and jumping into the fray. 

As he fought, knowing that she could handle herself, Alucard allowed the rage to take over. The bandits were afraid of his maddened smile and cackling, giving him the advantage. 

When the battle was over, and all of the bandits lay dead, Alucard came back to himself. The first thing he did was check to make sure the Princess was alright. 

She was highly mussed and boasting streaks of blood on her dress and skin. “Is any of that yours?” he asked gruffly, stepping towards her before realizing she might not want him close after seeing his fit of madness. Not many people did. 

Her eyes were wide as she looked at him, but she shook her head. “I’m unharmed,” she said softly. “What… what was that?” 

“Uh…” he said, looking away sheepishly. “I do that. Occasionally. Get angry.” 

“I can tell,” she said, her tone unreadable. 

When he looked up again, he nearly jumped. She was less than a foot away from him, and reaching out her hands. “What?” he said.

“You have blood on your face,” she murmured, and cupped his cheeks to wipe the blood off with her thumbs.

Her touch made him shiver, though her hands were warm. He reached up to take her hands in his and still them. “It’s fine,” he said softly, smiling slightly at her. “I’m used to it.”

“Well you shouldn’t be,” Integra said with a frown. She stepped a bit closer, and he swallowed. “And either way, you should clean it off.” Without moving, she considered his face. “Although,” she said finally. “It matches your eyes.” 

“I’ve been told that before,” he admitted. “Not usually as a compliment.” 

She huffed out a laugh, and then suddenly they were kissing.

Softly at first, then it deepened. Fierce, passionate, bloody; all-encompassing. He swallowed her moaning, and guided her so that her back was to a tree so he could press closer.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. He pulled back as if shocked, looking at her with wide, frightened eyes.

“What?” she said breathlessly, lips swollen and slick and eyes glazed over.

“You… the King…” He shook his head.

The Princess pressed her lips together, before tugging him close once more. “All I am doing,” she murmured softly, “Is rewarding you for saving my life.” 

And so their relationship became physical.

She had absolutely no experience with carnal matters, outside the books she had read when she snuck into the more restricted parts of her father’s library. But she was a natural, and after a day or two of stealing kisses she was eager for more than just his mouth on hers.

So one evening he laid her down on the grass, kissing her as he did. She went willingly, pulling him down to make sure the kisses never stopped, and he groaned against her lips as she spread her legs for him and hiked up her skirt.

He moved to her neck, sucking and kissing it as his hand moved beneath the thick fabric, until it reached the hot, welcoming apex of her legs. 

“Alucard,” she gasped. The look on her face took his breath away. She looked as if she was having a revelation.

She shivered and quaked as he touched her, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping her from falling apart. “Oh,” she moaned, “ _Oh_ , oh, oh, more of that, don’t stop…” 

He shivered too, leaning down to press heated kisses to her lips, cheeks, jaw, neck. “I won’t,” he murmured. “I promise.” 

And he didn’t stop, not until she was satisfied. Not until he rubbed and touched her so well that she tightened her grip around his neck and let out a blissful cry, sweat beading at her temples and face flushed with exertion.

After her breathing slowed he pulled back, feeling proud and satisfied even as his arousal burned for her.  


It was as if she sensed his need, though, because she blinked at him and pushed herself up, beginning to fumble with the lacing on his trousers. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, stunned.

She gave him a challenging look, despite the fact that her face was darkly flushed. “What does it look like? I’m reciprocating.”

He was going to protest that it wasn’t very ladylike for a Princess, but as she slipped her hand into his trousers and gently took hold of his hardness he found that he couldn’t care about that in the slightest. As she began kissing his neck, mimicking what he had done to her previously, he nearly lost his mind.

“ _Mmh_ , my lady—“ 

“Call me Integra,” she said in between kisses, sounding as if she was becoming aroused again.

“Integra,” he gasped immediately, relishing the way her name tasted in his mouth. “Ah, that’s… a little tighter, faster…” 

Her grip was firm and she followed his directions well, with a natural talent. Still, it was embarrassing, how quickly she made him come. After they were both sated they lay together in silence for a while, before getting up to bathe.

He had expected that to be a one-time dalliance. But the next evening, right after he lit the fire, she tapped him on the shoulder. He turned, and she kissed him fiercely, and he had no choice but to pull her into his lap. 

 

* * *

 

And so began the best days, the days of bliss. They pleasured each other most nights, waking up in each other’s arms every morning. The more they learned of each other’s bodies, the better their lovemaking got.

One day she invited him to bathe with her, a coy smile on her face and a sparkling in her eyes. He went gladly, but there wasn’t much time to admire her naked form. The water was so cold and the air so chilled that they spent the time huddling for warmth as they washed each other, shivering and giggling until drying each other off and quickly jumping back into their clothes.

“Damn this hair!” she said boldly, shaking her head as she ran her brush through it with great pain. It was the first time he had ever seen it down, and he was mesmerized by its color and shine. “It’s such a pain to braid when wet.” 

“Then keep it down,” he suggested selfishly. “I love the way it looks.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I love how you think that it’s possible for me to leave it down without it getting tangled.” 

“I love _you_ ,” he said impulsively, and held his breath for the reaction.

“What?” she said sharply, looking at him with narrowed eyes. When a moment went by and he didn’t take it back, she softened. “I… I love you too.” She beamed at him. “I love you too.” 

“My beloved Integra,” he whispered hoarsely, and the two of them came together in an embrace.

Even at their most passionate, they didn’t dare to try full penetration—the King required all of his wives to be virgins until marriage. That didn’t stop either of them from aching for it.

And there was an edge of panic underneath their rapture; the days were passing quickly now that they were enjoying each other so tremendously. Soon it would be time for her wedding to another man. The cruelest man he had ever known.

Before, the thought of shepherding an innocent woman to the King had made Alucard feel guilty. Now that they were in love, it made him feel violently sick. He was prone to weeping at nights, after she had fallen asleep, and was plagued by nightmares of what would happen when they reached the Wallachian castle. 

He needed to tell her, that much was obvious. But he couldn’t get up the courage until she forced his hand.

They were having another impromptu kissing and rutting session, which ended with her sagging into his arms as he leaned against her, holding her tight and listening to the sounds of them both regaining their breath. After a few minutes of recovery and sweet, brief kisses, she pulled back from him. Her expression was suddenly so solemn that Alucard knew whatever she was about to say would not be pleasant.

And he was right. “Tell me about the King,” she said.

His body stiffened; he couldn’t help it. “I already have,” he said weakly.

“Yes, you have,” Integra agreed, her tone impatient. “You told me he was, and I quote, ‘the most powerful man in the world, handsome and great and generous to those he blessed’. I knew even then you were hiding something, but I didn’t like you enough to push. Now we are in love, and I want the truth from you. I will say it again: tell me about the King.” 

Alucard paused, before clearing his throat. “Very well,” he said. Another pause, and he finally began. At first slow and hesitant, and then it began pouring out of him like a floodgate had burst. 

The King was cruel, the King was sadistic, the King was evil. He always had been, since Alucard had met him, since they were young together. As a child he tortured small animals, and as he grew older he moved on to people. He went through lovers like a glutton went through meals, and couldn’t even keep his monstrous tendencies from the women who were supposed to rule beside him. Besides, he didn’t trust them enough to share his power with them, anyway.

He trusted no one with his power. He had fought so hard to steal it, and it was his forever. He had an inner circle of nobles who would do anything for him, but they couldn’t be called friends—if one of them seemed to be getting too powerful, they would be executed promptly, and a new one would take their place. 

Integra listened to Alucard’s words, her face unmoving. “Steal?” she said finally. “What do you mean, he stole his power? I thought he was the heir to the throne.” 

Alucard laughed humorlessly, holding up his arms. “You’re looking at the heir to the throne,” he said. 

A pause, and he watched her expression turn from confusion to horror. “Oh, Alucard,” she murmured, putting her hand on her cheek. “What did he do to you?”

He hadn’t spoken of this in years—no, not ever. He had never told another soul. But this was Integra, and she deserved to know. He wanted her to know. 

“My father was a busy man, as King,” he said finally. “But kind. He too had an inner circle of nobles, but he genuinely trusted them, especially one man in particular. The two of them were as close as could be, and therefore they often had their children play together.

“This nobleman… his eldest son was five years my senior, and I…” Alucard trailed off with a humorless chuckle. “I admired him. He seemed so glamorous, mature and aloof. But he had no fondness for me. Or for anyone. He… he would show me the rabbits and mice that he dissected, because he knew it would make me cry. And then he would threaten to do the same to me.”

He went on. The bigger boy made his life miserable, mocking him at every turn. He blamed Alucard for every prank they pulled together, every broken vase and insulted noble. He told lies to the other children, making them despise the King’s son. If there _was_ the rare child who befriended Alucard, he would torment them until they were too frightened and weakened to stay in Court.

Finally, on the eve of Alucard’s eleventh birthday, he struck his deadliest blow. In the middle of the night, paid thugs broke into the Prince’s room and—

“You don’t need to talk about that,” Integra said swiftly, noticing that her lover had begun shivering and stumbling over words. 

Alucard nodded, wiping his eyes. “Thank you. I… I tried, Integra. I tried so hard to maintain any semblance of power, but… but I couldn’t take it. Not anymore. And there was nowhere to turn; my father was becoming old and sick. I began to have fits, fits of madness. I saw things… I raged, I destroyed, I ranted. By the time I was thirteen, the doctors declared me unfit to rule. And then, my father died, and… and he took the throne. He made me into his servant. I was powerless, there was nowhere I could run, and now that he had what he wanted from me he more or less left me alone, besides giving me orders to fetch and clean and serve.”

He paused, collecting his emotions and avoiding her gaze, looking down at his lap. “It… it hasn’t been a bad life,” he said finally. “Not since he got what he wanted. I didn’t mean to upset you, my lady, I’m sorry if I—“ 

She was in his lap again, holding him close, stroking his hair and rubbing his back. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered finally. “You poor, brave man. I’m so sorry.” 

And suddenly he was weeping in her arms like a child.

There was a while of silence, only broken by Alucard’s weeping and occasional murmurs of comfort from Integra, before his tears dried out and they simply held each other. Finally, he spoke again, his voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry I didn't tell you. I just… I didn’t want to think about it myself, let alone watch your beautiful face as I told you… as I told you what your fate would be. I believe in your strength, I know that you will last far longer than I did, or the three wives preceding you, but the thought of you enduring any of that…” He shook his head with a little whine, before shifting their position to hold her as he noticed that she was shaking. “Integra, beloved, my sweet princess, my lady…” 

“Think nothing of it,” she said, but her voice was choked as she nuzzled into his chest. “I understand, I know. Thank you for telling me.” 

“I’m so sorry,” he said weakly. “I… we can’t run, Integra. I’ve thought of it many a time, but we can’t. We can’t survive in the wilds forever, and if we reach civilization, he’ll find us. We can’t run.” 

A long pause. “We can’t run,” Integra said finally, lifting her head and looking up at him. He was surprised to see that she had a determined expression. She continued, in a firm tone of voice. “But we don’t have to go back to him.”

Alucard frowned. “What do you mean?” he asked carefully, worried she’d lost her mind. “Of course we do.”   
  
“No, we don’t,” Integra insisted, rolling over to face him. Her eyes were burning with emotion.

“My sweet lady,” Alucard said with a sigh, reaching up to cup her cheek. “If we ignore his orders, there will be nowhere safe for us to hide from him. He is the most powerful man in the world, with multiple armies at his disposal. You know that your kingdom is no match for his.” 

Integra shook her head, cupping his cheek and kissing the palm before sitting up and rifling in her bag. “I know this. I’m not speaking of hiding; I’m not a coward.” 

After a moment, she pulled out the pouch of wine-colored Deathbursts.

It took Alucard a moment to realize what she was suggesting. When he did, his eyes widened and immediately teared up. “Integra…”

“It’s the only way,” Integra insisted, although her voice sounded a bit choked up herself. “I’ll be damned if I let him have me. He won’t break me, but he’ll try, and he’ll continue to control you…” She shook her head angrily. “He’s gotten everything he wants, but he won’t get his hands on either of us! Not anymore.” 

“But… Integra,” Alucard said weakly, sitting up as well. “I can’t watch you… I can’t watch you end your life. Please. You’re so young, so full of life and promise… there has to be another way.” 

“If there was another way, you would have succeeded already,” she said. “This,” and here she shook the bag of berries, “Is our only way out.”

A pause. There was a lump the size of a fist in Alucard’s throat. He was desperately trying to find any argument against her logic, and was coming up with nothing. Finally, he reached for her hand and kissed it with great care, before saying, “I can’t watch you die, Integra. I’m not strong enough for that.” 

Integra was silent too, for a moment, before giving him a sad and determined look. “Then you can go first, if you like,” she murmured. “But I was rather hoping we would do it together.” 

And Alucard knew there was no changing her mind.

So of course he agreed; as far as he was concerned, there would be no life for him without Integra. And dying with her… it was the closest thing to a holy union they would ever experience. 

“But not tonight,” he said firmly, after they kissed to seal the deal. “There’s no rush, my lady. We have four more days until the earliest that we’re supposed to reach the city, and I want a little more…” He became so choked up he had to stop and clear his throat. “I want a little more time with you.”

Integra nodded, her eyes also looking rather misty. “I agree,” she said. “I want a little more time with you, too.” 

And so it was agreed upon.

That night, he made love to her fully for the first time. They lay out the blankets, he opened his trousers, and she hiked up her skirts. 

As he pressed into her, his groan of bliss was cut off by her snapping that he was splitting her open. But he was slow and gentle—for perhaps the first time in his life—and soon worked her open enough so that she was crying out with each thrust. They moved together like one, until they had both reached climax.

“Mmm, can you imagine a bed?” Integra said finally, after some time had passed and they had regained their even breathing. “Sharing a bed, I mean. If we owned a bed, a large lovely feather bed. And I wouldn’t feel any lumps on my back.” 

He chuckled, taking her hand and kissing it. “I’m sorry about that, beloved. That sounds…” He sighed. “That sounds like heaven. A canopy bed, so we could block out everything but each other.” 

“Yes,” she said immediately. “And indoors, where it’s warm and safe, so we could undress fully and feel each other…” 

He groaned softly, moving to kiss her with passion. “You tease me so, my Princess,” he said. “The thought of your beautiful dark skin under my hands…” 

“Oh, Alucard, I’m sorry, it hurts me too,” Integra replied softly, the kiss having stole some of her breath. She snuggled more firmly against him. “It hurts me so much.” 

He heard the grief in her voice.

 

* * *

 

On the fifth morning after their decision, he woke her up with a mournful expression. “Integra,” he said softly. “I don’t want…” He broke off for a moment, closing his eyes tightly to keep his composure, then continued. “If we wait any longer, I fear that he’ll send soldiers to look for us.” 

Her face crumpled, and it killed him to see. But she nodded and sat up, schooling her expression. 

After a small search, they made their way underneath a beautiful tree, one that had just started to blossom. It was one of the first few warm days of spring. They sat across from each other, the berries in between them.

“Well,” Integra said finally, her voice soft. She looked as if she was debating saying something else, but shook her head and picked up the pouch between them.

He understood implicitly. What words could sum up this situation? What words could make it palatable? What person could put into words their decision to end their own life, the decision to rip themselves unnaturally from the rest of their predestined time on Earth? 

At least they would be doing it together. 

Still, his eyes burned with the promise of tears, and he found himself grasping desperately for an alternative plan.

“Wait, Integra,” he began, stopping until she looked up at him in confusion before soldiering on. “There has to be another way. With the two of us… I’m strong as anything, and you’re so intelligent…” His mind whirled. “Together we’d overtake him, I’msure of it.” 

Her eyes widened, head tilting to the side as she considered it, putting the pouch down. “I… we could make a plan, I’m sure. As his wife, I’d be in his bed, in his personal chambers.” 

The thought made Alucard bristle as it always did, but he nodded. “Exactly! And he trusts my submission implicitly. He would never see treason coming.” 

“We could please him for months, before he trusted me enough,” Integra said, her tone growing excited. “And then, I could slit his throat while he slumbered.” 

“Yes!” Alucard said quickly, nearly shouting in excitement. “And then…” 

His voice trailed off, and the two of them looked at each other in despair. There was no way they’d escape punishment, after that. The crime of killing the King would be years of torture before death.

“And,” Integra said out loud, as if they had already been speaking, “And I can’t do it, Alucard.” Her tone was desolate. “I’m too proud. I can’t spend a day in his bed, let him do such unspeakable acts to me."

“And I would never allow it to happen,” Alucard agreed, his tone just as bleak. “If I knew he was…” He shook his head. 

There was only one way. 

As she picked up the pouch of berries, he noticed her hands were shaking. Gently he took the pouch from her, counting out four Deathbursts for each of them. They sat there in silence for a moment, looking at each other with the berries in their hands. 

Alucard felt as if he had so much to say to her, and yet he could say nothing at all. She was looking at him with a small smile, the most melancholy smile he had ever seen, and there were tears in her eyes. 

“I love you,” they finally said, both at once. 

The berries were just as sweet as Alucard had said they would be. After a brief moment, the two of them leaned in and began one more passionate kiss, sharing the poison equally between them with every movement. 

It hurt very much, and then the pain went away. 

And they fell to the ground together, her head on his chest and her body in his arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!
> 
> to those asking about love on the battlefield: i'm very sorry. i need more time. thank you for your patience!


End file.
